#002
Quick Sand!
Have you heard this? The great David Bowie explains it well.
Don’t believe in yourself. Don’t deceive with belief.
Knowledge comes with death’s release…
Ahhhhhhhh!
We Will Die!…aaannndddd THEN we will have knowledge. Great.
So, if you’re a kid or a kid at heart like me, we don’t know nada. Oh well.
…that you don’t…know. Thank you BIG.
Staying away from the quicksand gave me a 002nd chance at living.
#001
Swimming before the 30 min break!
Such a great song by Mac Miller! I wish I had this song when I was a kid to give a little comfort.
I don’t know about all you youngins but, when I was young, the pool was where we went on a summer day. The worst was the 30 min break!
I’ve always heard that if you eat, not to swim for at least 30 minutes because you could get a cramp and basically drown.
Have you heard the same?
As a youngin I loved me some nacho’s at the dirty community pool concession stand. Something about grimy, bacteria filled pools of water under my feet, while I ate modified, overly salted corn chips covered with liquid government cheese never bothered me.
But, the 30 min break after eating was always on my mind. In fact, I would stay in the shallow area of the pool until MY 30 minutes were D.O.N.E, done! That was a painful, but necessary plan of action that I will always remember. And I got a second chance at living because of it.
#003
Spiders!
Ah, yes. Spiders actually terrify me still. They are sneaky! They are creepy! They ALWAYS surprise me, even when I see them before they attack me.
Have you ever been bit by a spider? Holy moley, that is the most terrifying experience i’m sure. I mean, I’ve never actually been bitten but, I hear that it can be pretty horrible.
Wait, take that back. I probably have been bitten when I was sleeping!
It happens ALOT, apparently.
Who attacks at night when you are completely vulnerable? That is just plain evil.
They can’t eat us! Can they?
One night, one happens to be crawling on your face and you roll over accidentally almost squishing it on your pillow.
Then it inserts two chunky bite holes in your face. That’s just rude. Am i right?
One time, I was lighting off fireworks in the backyard with my brother Steve and we discovered a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE, HUGE BANANA spider in the bushes. He was just sitting there, you know, minding his own business, ready to SUCK THE BLOOD of any passers-by that came too close. My brother Steve thought it would be FUNNY to blast it with a M-80 firecracker. Yeah….Nooooo… But he insisted.
He lit the explosive, let the wick burn down just long enough and tossed it to the web. BOOM! No more web, no more spider.
Buuttt….on…his…shirt… was an angry BANANA SPIDER READY TO RIP HIS FACE OFF!!!!! No, no, no just kidding. But, he was scared though.
Yeah spiders are horrible. Steve got a 002nd chance that day. I mean, I suppose I pretty much did as well, because that spider COULD have landed on MY shirt and ripped MY face off.
#004
Looking at the sun!
I was always told that if you look at the sun, you would basically go blind, like right away.
I did not want to be blind early in life so, I thought,
“Aaron…don’t do it…don’t you do it!”
I, like HI-5, could not help myself.
I LOVE THE SUN!
It’s so big and beautiful and warm… fiery, explosive, and terrifying.
So I did what most kid’s do when they really, really, really, REALLY want to do something but they are not supposed to do.
They just do it quickly.
Soooo, yes. I did not go blind. But, that was a seriously terrifying moment. Kids, don’t stare. Really, just like one or two seconds, that’s IT!
I don’t want anyone really going blind because they thought they could go longer. Annnnddd, I do not have the knowledge that David Bowie has now, so, yeah, there’s that.
Ah, thank goodness for 002nd chances.
#005
Slipping on banana peels.
So banana spiders to banana peels, eh?
Who would say a banana peel is terrifying?
This guy!
If you see a banana peel on the ground…
pick it up and throw it away as quick as possible.
Do you know what the #001 cause of injuries to Americans living from 1979- present day?
Yes, you guessed it. Slips and falls.
Be careful out there, my big and little friends. It’s a dangerous world.
You may or may not get a 002nd chance.
Increase your odds.