Ah, yes. Spiders actually terrify me still. They are sneaky! They are creepy! They ALWAYS surprise me, even when I see them before they attack me.
Have you ever been bit by a spider? Holy moley, that is the most terrifying experience i’m sure. I mean, I’ve never actually been bitten but, I hear that it can be pretty horrible.
Wait, take that back. I probably have been bitten when I was sleeping!
It happens ALOT, apparently.
Who attacks at night when you are completely vulnerable? That is just plain evil.
They can’t eat us! Can they?
One night, one happens to be crawling on your face and you roll over accidentally almost squishing it on your pillow.
Then it inserts two chunky bite holes in your face. That’s just rude. Am i right?
One time, I was lighting off fireworks in the backyard with my brother Steve and we discovered a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE, HUGE BANANA spider in the bushes. He was just sitting there, you know, minding his own business, ready to SUCK THE BLOOD of any passers-by that came too close. My brother Steve thought it would be FUNNY to blast it with a M-80 firecracker. Yeah….Nooooo… But he insisted.
He lit the explosive, let the wick burn down just long enough and tossed it to the web. BOOM! No more web, no more spider.
Buuttt….on…his…shirt… was an angry BANANA SPIDER READY TO RIP HIS FACE OFF!!!!! No, no, no just kidding. But, he was scared though.
Yeah spiders are horrible. Steve got a 002nd chance that day. I mean, I suppose I pretty much did as well, because that spider COULD have landed on MY shirt and ripped MY face off.